can you write about why women can t have it at all

-I have written first draft. And my professor gave it to me back to adjust. My thesis is attempted but it is fail and i need some support. Also i am international student and there are so many grammar mistake, So i wanna just to adjust my essay with your support argument. I shared my essays below as a picture. First photo is determined my lacking and missing.

– You should get references from the two essays “Why women still can’t have it all” (Anne-Marie Slaughter), “Why men still can’t have it all”(Richard Dorment).

-My professor explained that i especially needed on paper and it was written black pen.

-I am international student it should not be perfect but it should be good.

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