BUS128 Grossmont weaknesses & Shortcomings of Direct Claim Message Paper

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Most businesses want to know when something is wrong with their products or services so they can correct the matter and satisfy their customers. Many times the easiest and quickest way for you to address these claims is simply to contact the company directly to settle the matter.

Because you anticipate the reader will willingly grant your request, a direct claim begins with the claim, moves to an explanation, and ends with a goodwill closing (LO 5-6).

Relevant Concepts:

  1. Determining the effectiveness and/or weaknesses of a message.
  2. Planning Your Communication Strategy Using a Problem-Solving Approach (Chapter 1)
  3. Revising for effective, positive communication

Assignment Instructions:

Step 1: Open a new Microsoft Word document and immediately save the file as follows: Lastname-Firstname-Ch5-Favorable Response (For example: Carcioppolo-Joann-Ch5-Favorable Response)

Step 2: List the weaknesses/shortcomings in the ineffective direct claim message below, based on the following:

  1. general plan for direct-order messages (LO 5-2),
  2. the suggestions for organizing the direct claim (LO 5-6);
  3. the appropriate format and letter parts from Chapter 2 and Bonus Chapter A; and,
  4. the appropriate writing style suggestions from Chapter 4 (LO 4-1 through LO 4-16).
  • Cite your reasons based on the appropriate chapter and learning objective.

Step 2: Plan your communication strategy using the Problem-Solving Approach and Audience Analysis Checklist handouts from Chapters 1 and 2. Don’t include this information in your assessment submission-just use scratch paper or the blank handouts I’ve distributed in class for your own planning purposes.

Step 3: Revise the message to meet the direct-order message plan for a Good News and/or Favorable Response (appropriate document format/open/body/close) and appropriate writing style.

Ineffective Message

Dear Ms. Orsag:

Your May 3 letter in which you claim that the Rigo FAX391 was received in damaged condition has been carefully considered. We inspect all our ma- chines carefully before packing them, and we pack them carefully in strong boxes with Styrofoam supports that hold them snugly. Thus we cannot understand how the damage could have occurred.

Even so, we stand behind our product and will replace any that are damaged. However, we must ask that first you send us the defective one so we can inspect it. After your claim of damage has been verified, we will send you a new one.

We regret any inconvenience this situation may have caused you and assure you that problems like this rarely occur in our shipping department.

Scott Hildebrand

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